As I may have mentioned before, life here is really hectic. There are quite a few deadlines, and there is my daily reading and writing routine to attend to. I have fabulous professors around, and of course I am being trained by my impeccable supervisors, and I am learning lots, which over here usually means asking myself lots of questions and trying to solve lots of methodological and theoretical problems. Apart from all the studying (some 50-60 hours a week these days), there is another fact: I am no longer teaching.
This blog was born mostly as a result of questions or difficulties I encountered during my lessons and debates with colleagues. It has been an attempt to put in writing just a few of those many things I have taught, which I have not seen anyone else put in writing. It has been a way to share ideas that others may find useful when teaching. Now, this blog has, to a certain extent, changed its direction, and it has become a sort of personal log, which is really fine by me, as I have always considered myself a teacher-learner.
It should be quite obvious right now, but this is not a commercial endavour of any kind, either. I may in the future consider publishing some handouts or theory sheets, but it is not my motivation really to use this space for profit (something that many people still don't understand).
I feel the pressure to share with you all my new daily findings, and still do so in a way that will not tarnish my university's reputation, or misrepresent my views (after all, if I wanted any misrepresentation, I already know a few people who never sat in my classes and are now talking about me as if they knew me or truly understood the theoretical undepinnings of my work...anyway). Writing in a rush, and in one sitting, has somehow worked for me in many opportunities, but perhaps that is not necessarily something I want to do anymore, or at least it's something I want to do less frequently. Recording my "chirpy remarks" on the go was fun, but it may not have been as professional as I would have liked it to (though it does the job as my own way of keeping an accent log, I must admit!).
The thing is, over here, I have made lots of discoveries, and I have also proven a lot of my hunches right. This makes me really happy, and at the same time, makes me feel a bit bitter. I have a lot to say, but perhaps I am not ready to present it in the best possible way.
I am in the transition from teacher-researcher into a researcher that carries a teacher in her mind and heart.
And in order to do this the way I want to, I need time. At this point, it is either my own research project in the making (plus the challenges of having moved abroad really recently), or doing this properly.
So rather than putting more pressure on myself on getting all my drafted blog posts out, or using this space as a response to uncalled-for criticism, I have decided to take some "time out", and focus on my own research until things start falling back into place.
I may publish my drafted posts in a month or two, I may not. I don't really know. I just want to make sure my Pronunciation Bites blog stays as a place of reflection and enjoyment, a place to continue pouring my passion for phonetics and teaching, as I have conceived this blog to be from day 1.